Posts

But Did You Die?

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I'm sure that at least one time in your life, you have experienced being wronged. I mean REALLY being wronged. You feel that the person somehow should pay for what they’ve done or AT THE VERY LEAST apologize for it. Right? Well if you haven't, I have!  I was recently asked how did I get past the feeling of "YOU MUST PAY"!  Now let me be transparent.  I definitely went through moments of thinking of ways they should pay and the satisfaction I would get out of it. I questioned God. "Why do they get to go on with their lives? Why do they get to prosper after doing this to me? Why do they get to...blah blah blah?" I expressed that I didn't think it was fair.  After all, I was hurt, talked about, embarrassed, felt like a failure, etc. Eventually, God said, " I know how this made you feel but you survived".  At first, I felt "Really God? But I survive? Yeah, Barely sir" After some prayer, ok a great deal of prayer, I realize that I was lo

This Is My Confession

So here is my confession. A few years ago, I did not consider myself to have many friends. None really. However,  I  established several "brother/sister" relationships throughout my life. I now know why some were established(some for reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime). To call someone brother or sister vs friend gave me...license not to expect much. Let me explain. Brothers and sisters aren't necessarily friends they're siblings because thy "have to be". There's no commitment/ requirements it "just IS". I  have always done my best to live by the rule/ scripture "do unto others...". I have found, more often than I care to admit, that that isn't a rule everyone follows. This has caused me much hurt, embarrassment and has caused me to build up a defense wall. I have since learned, through my growth and a little therapy, that I do that to protect myself from being hurt.  What I was doing was hurting myself because I w

Knock Knock! Who is it? Suicide!

Have you ever been going about your everyday life and out of the blue all hell seems to break loose? It may be one thing or it can be a combination of events that just come and bombard your emotions or your life. The kids are screaming, the baby is crying, the boss is yelling, the cat wont' come in.  Sometimes it can be something as simple as all fo the milk being gone RIGHT when you want a bowl of cereal. There is a link between depression and suicide.  If you are someone that is fighting depression, it is very easy to want to mask it from your friends and family, but don't.  It's important that you let them know the struggle that you you are fighting so they can help you fight.  They can be our eyes and ears.  We all know our friends and family and we may notice certain mood changes or triggers.  Not that you have to "police" or "babysit", but be mindful of their behavior.  We should be mindful of how our friends and loved ones are behaving especially

Working past the FRUSTRATION

Have you ever been frustrated? I mean just frustrated with being frustrated? Bills are more the income, one step forward 3 steps back, can't win for losing? I looked up the word frustrated and one of the definitions was:  the act of preventing the success of something : the act of frustrating something. Pretty much how I feel at this moment. Frustrated, with life, my situation, myself. I am learning some of the hints that triggers my depression. At least by identifying those things I can work offensively so I can work ahead so it doesn't consume me. One of my biggest triggers I have found is my finances(or lack thereof). I've always considered myself a good hard worker, team player, creative mind, etc. It seems that no matter how hard I work, how much time I put in, how dedicated I am, I just can't get ahead. I have worked hard in every area in my life, completed my MA.Ed, yet still only working making pennies.  WHAT IS THE PROBLEM??? Well, I am still a believer that Go

No Fear Just Faith

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Throughout your life, have you ever wanted to do something, or gotten the unction or directive from God to do something but didn't/couldn't do it because of fear? Well I have. There are some things that God has called me to do that I haven't done. Not for lack of obedience or faith but because of fear. Yesterday I was reminded that FEAR and FAITH CANNOT coexist. It's like having two trains on the same track traveling on opposite directions. Eventually the two will collide. No matter how I/we wrap it up in a nice package and say "oh I have faith in God but idk about this", if we fear we don't faith.  At the end of the day, without faith it's impossible to please God. If we fear, we aren't having faith. TRUST me, I get it. Stepping out on something new, unknown can be frightening. We don't know the outcome. But if we trust God and have FAITH in HIS guidance how can we fail? If we allow fear to stagnate us or prevent us from reaching out dreams, w

Hell...NO I'm Ford Tough

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Through my journey in this thing called life, various situations and circumstances have caused those that have watched my walk and my faith tell me, "you were born for this! You're Ford Tough". Well being "Ford though was a common slogan for the Ford F series trucks back in the day and even still today. Recently some events have occurred that may knock the "ordinary" person to their breaking point, especially if they have had issues with depression in the past like I have.  Well, today I was reminded again that I was "built for this". Idk about you but I have asked God before "WHY sir do I have to be THIS strong? Why do I have to endure and endure and ENDURE some more"?  So I decided to look at how they came up with the slogan "Ford tough". (Hey, since folks are using it to reference me, I should know what they're talking about right?) Well, this is what I found Ford Truck. A Ford marketing manager Stated that  "Toughn

Soar Like An Eagle

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So I was driving home from work today and noticed some birds flying.  I saw some birds that were in a group and then I saw a different type of bird  but there were only 2.  I watched these 2 sets of birds for a while.  I noticed that the smaller bird(there were about 6-8 of them) they would fly and flap their wings, lose altitude and flap their wings and fly more.  This was an ongoing process. All this time the other birds were just soaring, allowing the wind to do the work for them, never flapping or losing altitude.  I began to look at these 2 birds without a care in the world. Not worrying about where they would live, what they would eat, what they're going to wear to work tomorrow.  They were soaring high, chillin, relaxed.  At that moment I said "Maaaan the life of the bird.  It should be that easy. No stressing no worrying, just going where the wind takes you".  At that moment God told me " It can be that simple if you give it all to me and trust my process&q