How iPress on through De-Press-I-On (Depression)

Have you ever stopped to think about who you are? Not the YOU that you want to be, use to be or others want you to be but YOU right now at THIS moment? Think about it. I'm sure right now that you are pointing out all of the negative the imperfections, etc. STOP!!!! Think about how God made you.   No one is perfect but God.   Yes! We are to look to improve myself/life, as we should, but we should NEVER try to be someone that we weren't created to be. We must love God, then love the God that is IN us. I  think John Ledgend said it best love your "perfect imperfections".  I am learning to like, love and appreciate ME...Monica... Monie in the Middle!!!! I am grateful that God made me as he did. The entire loving, caring, silly, comical, inspirational, insecure(at times), thick, talented,anointed, size 16, creative, beautiful(inside and out),dedicated, and much, MUCH more parts of ME.   JUST AS I AM!!! ALL my curves and ALL my edges!! ALL my PERFECT imperfe...

This is a simple post to remind everyone to smile. Smile through the pain, hurt, disappointment SMILE!!! No matter how dark it may seem, no matter how hopeless you feel, find a reason to smile. Find a way to press through the feeling and emotions of THAT moment that is weighing you down. Think of a good memory, sing a song, dance like no one is watching. So today, remember there's always something to smile about. 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV). This was my morning scripture. I've read it for years and thought I had a pretty good handle on it but after my journey this past year with dealing with depression, I have an even better understanding. See, here's the thing. Depression starts and stays in the mind. It wasn't until I got help and got centered in Christ that I was able to start the healing process. I changed my focus (granted it continues to be an internal fight). I focused on the problem solver vs the problem (the bills, the low self esteem, the issues, the loneliness, etc).  See if ALL I do is focus on what's wrong, I can't see and appreciate the things that are right.  Truth be told if I focus on those things that ARE right( my gifts, talents, loved ones, blessing, etc) I won't have muc...

Ever been in a situation were you feel like you're doing all you know to but "life" still isn't "working" out? I mean your trust God and put in the work(tithing,offerings,active in ministry, faithful) and STILL life keeps giving you that old Mike Tyson 1,2 punch? You bless others, encourage others, and you STILL lack. At this point you want to throw in the towel, cause after all, what's the point right? I mean wants the point of grinding every day if you STILL can't make ends meet? What's the point if you still are unhappy and alone? I mean why continue on? You have no money, fewer friends that support you, and you are alone, you've fasted, prayed, worked and still nothing so WHY GO ON RIGHT???? WRONG!!! You go on because at the end of the day, someone DOES love you, God! I know it doesn't always feel,seem, or look like it, but he does. When we are at our lowest, our brokest( yep made it up), our weakest, we must TRUST that God didn't...

I sometimes have moments that I feel the insecurities, doubts, etc creeping up withing me. My mind begins to replay all the bad things that have happened in my past, and even in my present. This starts me to start to doubt my future. Feeling that it will always be this way. No good thing will come my way. Blah blah Whaaa Whaaa. I have now learned that in THESE moments I rely on Gods truth for my life vs what the past replays or my eyes see. Whatever truth we decide to recite and/or replay is the truth we walk into Depression in some ways can be similar to being an addict. Until YOU decide that YOU are tired of being sick and tired of being depressed, you will continue to be depressed. It's is a daily fight of conscious decisions of healing that will make life a bit easier. We have to be conscious and intentional with our thoughts and feelings.  When negative feelings come we must recognize them and check those suckas at the door. The more we entertain them the more those thoughts s...

Last night was a tough night. Some memory triggers and life situations started to allow that ugly spirit of depression to come and knock on my door. I quickly made myself aware of what was happening and prayed to God that he would not allow the spirit to take over so I could sleep. He did just that. When I woke up, a variety of circumstance told everything in me to stay in bed, nothing will get better, life sucks now and always will. I literally got up, changed pajamas and got BACK in the bed. Who does that? I stayed in bed for a while until... Until I/ME/SHE/HER heard a small voice within say "NO!!! We WILL NOT allow this funky, no good for nothing spirit to control us". I got up(again), got dressed and went to the gym. Oh that first 10 minites was tough. I wasn't sure if I could complete the goal I set. I tried to stay focused and before I knew it, my workout was over and I rewarded myself with 10 minutes in the steamroom. I said all of that to say. Sometimes we have to...

So, first off I apologize for the missed days. OK... on to business. Those that suffer from depression know and understand that sometimes living while fighting depression can seem a bit like a roller coaster ride.  There are highs that are high and lows that are low.  There are unexpected twist and turn and big drops out of the blue.  Well, I am glad to say that at this moment I am riding high.  There were a few moments this week that I felt "The D" trying to roll up on me, but I was determined to PRESS past it.  When I wanted to cancel plans I didn't.  I kept all scheduled plans and you know what? I had a BLAST.  I had the opportunity this week to attend a big work event where I put on my genuine "happy face".  I met several clients that actually gave me a boost by telling me what a pleasure it's been working with me over the past NBA/ NHL season.  Next, it was time to celebrate my sister-girlfriends birthday(the same one I shared a post abo...