How iPress on through De-Press-I-On (Depression)

As we look n the world today, there seems to be little compassion for one another. "It's all about me! I'm looking out for number one!" Etc. I look at the bible to see it read to "love thy neighbor as thyself". It may appear that people aren't keeping his commandment, but what I'm learning is that many people ARE loving their neighbor as they love themselves. The issue is people don't really love themselves because they don't or can't see who God made them to be. They suffer from low self esteem, low self worth, self respect etc so HOW can they give that to someone else? If we really want to make a change? We need to start with ourselves, the man in the mirror. We need to start seeing ourselves with God's eyes, as HE sees us, as HE created us. Fall in love with YOU!!!! Perhaps then we can properly learn to love thy neighbor. 

Today was interesting. Woke up feeling quite blah, with tons of engagements (wedding, party, church) to attend. I attempted to fix my hair and everything just looked wrong. I felt nothing looked good so I didn't go. Next stop a party( with some people I have et seen for a while). Trying again to tame the hair to fail. I said "just forget it I'm not going". I decided to press and go to the event because it was something important for my friend. A friend that I have shut out in my struggle.   So I went, feeling a mess. I smiled and giggled and still felt a tad out of place, just because I've envisaged out on so much of my friends life I was out of the loop. I realized at that moment also that some things were about perspective. She NEVER shut me out, I shut her out instead of just sharing what was going on with me. Anywho, I left there to go to church (where I was scheduled to sing. I prayed the whole way to hutch "lord please help me shake his feeling"! E

This morning I was feeling pretty bad, upset, helpless. As I checked my bank balance after I made my sons rent payment yesterday, only to see my account overdrawn after an automatic payment for my life insurance (I forgot about) was taken out this morning. I slowly walked up the stairs and slide down the slide to "why me" lane as I continued to prepare for work and figuring out what I was going to wear. When I handed my train ticket to the conductor he asked if I would like for him to toss my ticket (as he had just punched my last ride) I told him I thought I had one more, which I didn't. I thought GREAT. I have no more rides on the ticket, no money in my account, and only $6 in my pocket as I looked out the window to see a many hand his freshly washed clothes on the fence to dry. As I rode on the bus thinking " how will I ever make it until next payday(NEXT Friday) with $6". I've done all that I know I can do. I tithe, I've done what you've asked, s

Today I pray against the spiriting depression! I pray that fir every negative thought, God replaces them with 5 positive, building, encouraging thoughts. I pray that when the spirit of loneliness creeps up, you feel Gods spirit of love. I pray that when the spirit of defeat creeps in, God overwhelms you with the spirit and the fighting warrior! I pray that when you feel like no one loves or appreciates you, god reminds you that I do. Sometime we may not get the love appreciation as WE would like but if we take THAT moment to think about how God feels we we don't love and appreciate him, our worries don't seem that significant.

Start Making It Liveable  (For your) Everyday Start finding ways to heal. Prayer and meditation will give the opportunity to release all that troubles you and ease your mind.  Smile through the pain Sing in the rain Find a way to make your day a little brighter Find a way to make your burdens a little lighter (Smile) when you can't seem to find your way (Smile) it'll make for a better day (Just smile) when you feel you can't make it through  (Smile) I'm telling you what to do just smile!!! Smile!! Oh smile 

This post will be short and sweet.  This weekend do your best to get up, get out, and do something. It doesn't matter if all you do is meet a friend for coffee or a walk, going to dinner, or just hanging out with some friends.  If you've been in a dark place and can feel yourself slipping reach out to someone that is close to you and share your thoughts and feelings with them. Ask them to pray with and for you. JUST DO SOMETHING! We all know that sitting around and allowing the feelings of depression to linger, will only make it worse. You have the fight in you, and if you feel like you don't, trust in a friend and especially God.  WE can not heal ourselves. We can do the work, but we need the help of God and a support system as well.  Enjoy your weekend and feel free to share your journey with me hear or email me at monicalynese@gmail.com.

The recent death of Robin Williams has increased the awareness of depression.  Who would have thought that Robin Williams, the man that brought so many of us laughter, would be depressed? Actually, if you look at a setting, the person who is "the life of the party", the funniest often times may be suffering from depression.  When I am not "in my hole(as I call it)", and I bring myself to socialize and interact, in someways, I become a different person.  It's somewhat like therapy,(which is probably why I love to act so much). At that moment I have NO worries, No cares, and believe it or not, I get relief by making others smile and laugh and have a good time.  Often what I dish out, is what I GREATLY need myself.  When I "love on others" by sending text, making calls etc just to say "I love you", "I appreciate you", that is generally what I am in need of.  I can NOW admit that I need love, I desire love. Real love, TRUE love.  Not ju

As I logged on to FB today my sis Elise  posted "I Choose" a song by India Arie.  The lyrics are quite powerful. The song discusses that life has brought "some painful things I thought that I would never make it through. Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes....but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances but TODAY I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for MY JOY". When fighting depression, it is a constant CHOICE that we have to make.  We can decide to let it consume us OR to PRESS through it.  It may not always be easy.  Many times it just feels easier to roll over and give little to no effort. To continue to feel hopeless, helpless, etc.  But TODAY I urge and encourage you to look at the opportunities ahead of you.  Ignoring the past (you can't change it anyhow), live your life for YOU(through God). I know the feeling of defeat and this fight of depression but I beli

As I reflected on how it is important for those of us that suffer from depression to interact with others, I looked back at my journal and would like to share an entry:  " I decided to suck it up and go listen to Maurice and Keith play at MVie.  I really thought I would go to the restaurant, sit in the back corner, write, and listen to music.( I was hoping to go in and while I wanted my friends to see that I was there to support them, I really just wanted to be invisible)  As I entered the restaurant, I walked in to be greeted by a room FULL of people.  My heart started racing and I had to breathe and clam myself down and smile and converse with several people. After the set, I was still a bit anxious so I got in the car, opened the roof, let down the windows and drove down Lake Shore until it ended".  I am not sure how many of you have ever had that overwhelming feeling. Many times the steps that we need to take to heal are some of the toughest things for us to do. It is imp

My first real memory of realizing that I was not "ok" was while I was in a relationship that was spiraling into a terrible place.  That was the first time that I considered "checking out". The pain of the situation and betrayal became overwhelming.  I mentally blacked out and was told by a friend that saw me, I was walking towards the highway that was near my home. She called out to me and when I didn't respond she came and got me and asked what I was doing.  At that moment I "came back" and the pain came back, as I just cried and cried.  My friend then walked me home where I sat, on the floor, crying out to God. Questioning WHY. Why me? Why this? Why? Why? Why?  At that moment God spoke to me and asked "Why not you? You're strong enough, I built you for this".  Personally this is one of my biggest disagreements with God. Lbvs. I frequently ask him "Why did you make me so strong to take on all of this mess? Sometimes I just want to b

Today I attended a memorial service for my sisterfriend, Tonya Webb-Montgomery.  She had a loving spirit outgoing personality and a smile that could light up any room.  She battled lupus for some years, yet through her journey she worked to fight the illness as well as make all she knew and loved (even some she didn't know) healthier and happier.  SHE is a major reason that I started this blog. She taught me that things get tough but fight through it and fight with a smile and "poppin" lip gloss(inside joke Tonya ALWAYS rocked her MAC lip gloss). LOL. Sometimes we find that life strikes blows that eventually make us feel that we are in hopeless situations, that there's no resolve or that we are fragile.  We must breathe deep and remember that no matter how fragile we are, we can still work, study to find to find your triggers, and trust God. There is a song by Tasha Page Lockhart that is awesome.  It discusses the realness of being fragile and having questions for God

As I sit and write my first blog, I am a bit nervous. I was raised in church, still very involved, and have a relationship with God.  That did not stop me from being depressed.  I found myself letting the weight of the world become too much. At one point I did not think(or even want to) go on. I knew these emotions, etc were not from God yet they continued to come and became stronger and stronger. I withdrew from friends but knew oh so well how to slap my "happy girl, life of the party, little Miss Sunshine" face on, when I HAD to be around others, so no one would be clued in to my secret. Little did they know that when I would them,smiling, joking, and laughing, I would get in my car, drive home, and feel MISERABLE, feeling that my family would be better off without me, that I didn't matter.  I know most Christians would say, "you should have just gotten in your word and prayed" but I didn't have the strength at THAT moment.  We, especially in the Black com