My new posture

Today was interesting. Woke up feeling quite blah, with tons of engagements (wedding, party, church) to attend. I attempted to fix my hair and everything just looked wrong. I felt nothing looked good so I didn't go. Next stop a party( with some people I have et seen for a while). Trying again to tame the hair to fail. I said "just forget it I'm not going". I decided to press and go to the event because it was something important for my friend. A friend that I have shut out in my struggle.   So I went, feeling a mess. I smiled and giggled and still felt a tad out of place, just because I've envisaged out on so much of my friends life I was out of the loop. I realized at that moment also that some things were about perspective. She NEVER shut me out, I shut her out instead of just sharing what was going on with me. Anywho, I left there to go to church (where I was scheduled to sing. I prayed the whole way to hutch "lord please help me shake his feeling"! Even when I arrived at church I wanted soooo bad to pull one of my sisters to the side and ask her to pray for me but I didn't. In service, we sang "Total Praise" and I cried and cried. I cried out to God for HE IS the source of my strength, the strength of my life. I have to look to him for strength when I'm weak. Pastor reminded "When you can't see your way out, God is about to shine his light. Expectation leads to motivation that leads to manifestation. There was nothing that they SAW that said God is faithful but yet they still believed.  In the darkest hour they prayed. We overcome by the words of our testimony. Praise is a posture of life".  Then God reminded me of the blog that he had me start. This blog. He reminded me how open I am allowing myself to be sharing my walk and my testimony with others in effort to bring strength, healing, and support. He reminds me that if I just trust him(even of just a little bit) he is always with me and will guide me through overcoming this and other things. He reminded me that because this is blessing others, the enemy is upset. At that moment I realized that catching a little hell to bring about healing will be worth it in the end. Praise is a posture for MY life. 

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