Taking Off My Mask

As I sit and write my first blog, I am a bit nervous. I was raised in church, still very involved, and have a relationship with God.  That did not stop me from being depressed.  I found myself letting the weight of the world become too much. At one point I did not think(or even want to) go on. I knew these emotions, etc were not from God yet they continued to come and became stronger and stronger. I withdrew from friends but knew oh so well how to slap my "happy girl, life of the party, little Miss Sunshine" face on, when I HAD to be around others, so no one would be clued in to my secret. Little did they know that when I would them,smiling, joking, and laughing, I would get in my car, drive home, and feel MISERABLE, feeling that my family would be better off without me, that I didn't matter.  I know most Christians would say, "you should have just gotten in your word and prayed" but I didn't have the strength at THAT moment.  We, especially in the Black community, feel that we should take EVERYTHING to God, which is true, but I believe God also sent us here to help each other.  I got help, and got counseling.  I learned a great deal about myself, emotions, and thoughts and how to cope with my depression in a healthy way.  This blog is not intended to give a platform for pity parties, but as a support for those that have "been there, done that". Sometimes you just need to release and be encouraged that its OK not to be OK sometimes. We allow ourselves to have THAT moment, process it, pull a lesson from it, then pray for strength.  This is a trust in God that I remove my mask to reveal that I am a face of depression. Through God and family and friends, I get better every day. I AM NOT a professional but want to provide this forum to help others. Please share and comment..

Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 15, 2014 at 8:55 AM

    Monica....thank you starting this blog. You are so brave to tell your story. I feel like depression is something that is swept under the rug so many times. This is real. Ive suffered from depression on and off for many years. Its a day to day struggle to deal with it. I pray someonebwill read your blog and know they are not alone anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kashuna PerfectedAugust 15, 2014 at 11:17 AM

    Thanks for your bravery in sharing....we shall continue to heal together!

    ReplyDelete
  3. aamon17August 15, 2014 at 3:28 PM

    Courageous! Thank you! If you're hurting, feeling like you're the only one, struggling with mental illness, or miffed about a loved one's battle . . . then, this message is for you. Be blessed. And share with someone else to whom Life has given the Blues.

    -- Pastor ARM

    SERMON: Sometimes Life Gives You The Blues: http://youtu.be/c3ipQkMw7Fs

    ReplyDelete
  4. JavidAugust 16, 2014 at 10:11 PM

    This was deep sis, I love your transparency

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 4:52 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownAugust 17, 2014 at 4:55 PM

    I am SO proud of you and to know you in an "intimate" way, as your sister in Christ and friend. To GOD be the glory that we met as we did, and NOW God is revealing something THROUGH you that was always IN you. Despite your struggles with depression, you've always known that the struggles you'd endured, were steeped in at the time we met, and are yet experiencing were about GOD'S plan for you to be transparent and use your personal story to help others heal. Allow GOD to use you and, no matter what, DO NOT allow negativity to overshadow the journey ahead. As you share, others will also begin to share...as YOU heal, so will others. I am grateful to GOD for the things I KNOW HE is going to accomplish in and through you. GOD bless you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownAugust 18, 2014 at 4:58 PM

    Don't know you but I applaud your bravery to share this. As one who shares in feelings of your journey. Continue to walk my sister I find that even in our depressed states HE is ever so close.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MonicalyneseAugust 18, 2014 at 6:08 PM

    Orlando I have known you since you were younger, but thank you for your encouragement.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Weather Report

As I looked at my "Timehop" I saw a post I  wrote a year ago. The post was written as I watched the news, specifically the weather. It made me think, how many of us plan our day, waredrobe, etc around what the weatherman "predicts"? He says "a chance of rain" we take our umbrella. He says, "1-3 inches of snow" we wear boots. Even if when we look outside and there is NO sign of what the weatherman has predicted, we believe and carry out our day accordingly. What if we had the same faith in God, his promises and his word as we do the weatherman. Would we believe that "by his stripes we are healed" even when the dr report says differently? Will we believe that when we're in trouble "God will part the heavens and come down and grab hold of us" when we are in trouble regardless if there APPEARS to be no way out? Will we believe? When we look at our situations, bills, finances, life, and what we see doesn't match what God ha...
Read more

Today I Pray

Today I pray against the spiriting depression! I pray that fir every negative thought, God replaces them with 5 positive, building, encouraging thoughts. I pray that when the spirit of loneliness creeps up, you feel Gods spirit of love. I pray that when the spirit of defeat creeps in, God overwhelms you with the spirit and the fighting warrior! I pray that when you feel like no one loves or appreciates you, god reminds you that I do. Sometime we may not get the love appreciation as WE would like but if we take THAT moment to think about how God feels we we don't love and appreciate him, our worries don't seem that significant.
Read more

Work It

Do the best that you can with what you've got. It may be a little, may be a lot. Regardless of the measure, we are all blessed with SOMETHING. The key is not to worry about what someone else has. If we constantly measure ourselves to others we may feel that we always fall short. When really we only know what people allow us to know. For instance, you may see a woman that is beautiful, with a georgeous husband, big house, expensive car. That same woman may have tons of weave, makeup covering up bruises from being abused from her hunk of a man. The point, live out YOUR destiny not someone else's. Be tue to God, yourself and those that love you. Seek and use he gifts and talents God gave YOU! Follow YOUR dreams and reach YOUR goals! What are YOU working with? Work it!
Read more